Epic Rap Battles of Tyria: Adelbern vs. Kisu

Robert Gee, our GW Skills Master, tries his hand at an ERBoT: Adelbern vs. Kisu


ADELBERN

 The name's Adelbern, the K-I-N-G

Retreat now Kisu you can't beat me

I got Magdaer in my hand and a crown on my head
I'm taking this "To the Limit!" and putting you to bed
 
I'm hero of the Guild Wars elected by the masses
You're just a figurehead ruler who hasn't got the brasses
I earned my kingship with deeds you got it on a silver platter
You wear a purple dress too that makes it even sadder
 
KISU
You're the king of Ascalon but Cantha is greater.
I rap from a gold palace; Your kingdom's nothing but a crater.
I'm closer to the stars, ascended through the age
Insult these royal robes and you'll face the dragon empire's rage
 
My country has an ocean of jade all you've got is dirt
The gap between us is so bad it must hurt
We've got so many riches here it's gonna make you cry
Our guilds are better too you know I don't Xun-lie
 
ADELBERN
Your half-brother would have been a bigger challenge than you
Even though he's losing hair he's still got his rap fu
Do you even do anything besides hand out hats?
You're stinking up this battle like a celestial rat. 
 
I charge into battle, you hide behind walls
You're a miserable coward, let me list out your shortfalls:
You're helpless, you got kidnapped by a royal bodyguard
If you ever stepped foot in my country you'd just get CHARRed
 
KISU
From Harvest Temple to the Raisu Palace
I survey all I see without a hint of malice
You've got anger problems Adel just face the facts
Not that I can blame you when you got beat by some cats
 
You banished your own son because he talked some smack
It's no wonder that nobody else has got your back
You're sad lonely monarch on a tiny little throne
You like to talk big but you're just overblown
 
ADELBERN
You were never my prince and you were never my son
But you're still a kid compared to me when all is said and done
Your whole empire gets overthrown because of some brat named Ashu
Hold onto your robes while this next verse goes past you:
 
I fought off titans with a party of four
I've faced armies of charr and come back for more
I count my victories in the twenty score
My legends reach from mountain to shore
You're a bore, 
a chore, 
a royal eyesore.
Challenge me and you'll be finished off before
You even feel your body hit the floor
 
I'll be remembered for centuries you're just a footnote
You get mired by your minsters but I go for the throat!
You're no match for me, you might have been a contender
But you forgot something important: Ascalon will never surrender!
 
KISU
You're a phony excuse for a king that can't even rhyme.
And your sword ain't that great I see them drop all the time.
Kowtow before me I come from generations of kings
Now listen up while I teach you a few things:
 
My rhymes are like dragons they spit soar and spit fire
Your lyrics are sloths they flop and get tired
My people stay inspired
Yours have all expired
Your kingdom is a mire
On its final funeral pyre
I'll keep going higher and higher
While all you can do is sit back and admire
How my land shines like a sapphire
 
Your country Ascalon though it doesn't look that great
It’s sad that you can't beat those charr, they're only level 8!
Now with my final words the tide I'm gonna turn
So "Watch Yourself!" Adel, you just got BERNED.